Question: I not only stiffen up sometimes before speaking to someone who intimidates me, but sometimes I feel like my throat is choking up with so much tension I'm afraid I'll lose the power to even speak! I'd very much like to get past this debilitating, sometimes humiliating, state of self. What can I do?
Guy's Response: If we're ever to outgrow the predicaments that we face, we must not allow these trials to dictate to us our choices. In this instance, whenever we run into areas that are challenging, a part of us urges us to avoid these situations. This is exactly the wrong choice. The right one is to go into the challenge ahead and not let the problem steer us away from seeing into its real cause. The wrong parts of ourselves are always defining us according to the limitations that they secretly are. In this instance, anything that we fear, or that makes us behave oddly, will tell us that it's the person or the situation that is causing us this conflict. We must always remember that in all circumstances, our situation is ourselves. And that it is through direct contact with these parts and doing what they fear to do that will prove to us there was nothing real in the fear. All fear, all negative states, are conditional. This means that if we stay the course, remaining aware of ourselves even as these parts threaten us, we will see these fears fade and disappear.
Question: Why is it that whenever we remember to come awake and actually "see" fearful thoughts and feelings for what they are, they seem to be so much less intimidating?
Guy's Response: Your question points the way to a vital inner principle. We've learned that the quality of our inner life is determined by what we are in relationship within our inner selves in any given moment. The very attempt to see a fear, as opposed to just unconsciously accepting it, changes our whole inner relationship with this condition. Even just one right idea about the true nature of fear placed in your mind at the same moment a fear enters into it diminishes that fear. Naturally, the next moment is higher.