Most people want very much to be strong, but they do not seem to be able to find the real strength they yearn for. Instead, they find qualities that pass themselves off as strength, but secretly leave them feeling weak. Here are some examples of false strength:
- lashing out in anger when frustrated
- demanding that we are right
- blaming someone else for causing the problem
- being loud and intimidating, or cold and critical
- feeling confident because of any contrived appearance
By contrast, here are some examples of real strength:
- remaining calm in a crisis
- never feeling the need to prove ourselves to anyone
- seeking to solve the problem rather than placing blame
- enjoying self-command regardless of uncertain circumstances
- seeing all setbacks as necessary steps to higher success
Study these two lists and try to see their great difference, not only in the individual areas of strength, but also with regard to the whole human character from which they arise. What a different kind of life would be led by someone who displayed the qualities in the second list as compared to the first. It is possible for any of us to achieve that different kind of life, but only in proportion to our willingness to see the difference between real and false strength. Our growing understanding of the difference is key, for it brings about an inner change that puts us in an entirely new relationship with life.